Love Makes You Blind
by hybridbpv
Summary: Smutty Clintasha. Clint goes blind. Natasha doesn't know what to do. Inspired by The Mentalist (S1E16). Please help me by leaving a review/follow/favourite (: xx
1. Blinded

Clint laid on the bed grunting in pain. Everything was dark, no. Everything was _pitch black._ Not a droplet of light entered his eyes. _What the fuck happened?_ His ears were ringing too… there was a subtle beeping of a machine to his right side. People mumbling things that he couldn't understand. Clint started to panic. He really panicked.

His fists grabbed the sheets until his knuckles were white and painful, but he didn't care._ What the fuck happened?_ The air was cool around him and smelled like antiseptics._ You're in a hospital_.

Natasha observed the first few seconds of Clint's consciousness. He was so scared. Maybe he didn't know, but his face was crumpled into an expression of despair and agony, the ugly cuts across his cheekbone covered up. He was everywhere. The doctors covered his eyes with cotton and gauze. Apparently the gas from the bomb was toxic.

Before Clint could hurt himself any more, Natasha laid a hand on his shoulder. His teeth were clenched as he turned his head towards her. He recognised her touch.

"Natasha…" Clint mumbled… His words were slurred and unclear, but it was obvious that he was calling for her. She sat closer to him on the side of the bed so her lower back touched the side of his thigh. "Natasha…" He called again.

"Yes. Clint. It's me." Natasha hushed, stroking him softly. He sighed as he relaxed his neck and let his head fall into the pillow behind him.

"What the fuck happened? Why are there bandages over my eyes? Why the fuck can't I see?" Clint was shouting as his muscles tensed on Natasha's forearms.

"Clint…" Natasha clenched her jaw, seeing her partner like this was not an easy thing. "Clint. It's going to be okay." Clint kept his grip on her. "We ran into an ambush. There was a bomb. The gas got to your eyes before you could escape."

"When can I see again?" He asked as he released her. He stayed silent for a moment. "When can I see again?" He shouted as started to sob. His chest had inconsistent shudder with every breath he took. His pain was on an emotional level more than a physical level.

Clint was scared out of his mind. To him, he just lost his eyes. He just lost his eyesight, he can't survive on the field. No… He can't survive without his eyes. Everything was black, and not even Natasha's voice could calm him down. _You little shit. Stop crying. STOP CRYING. _His eyes were burning with a feeling of dryness, like having them open for five hours straight.

"It's going to be okay, Clint."_ The doctor said it was unlikely for him to see again._ Natasha thought about telling him, but it was Clint. He would go insane.

"When can I see again?" He sobbed again.

"The doctors are going to check up on you in a week." Natasha lied. "You'll be better by then." Clint huffed as he leaned back on the bed. "I'm here to take care of you until you get better."

"I just want…" He started. "Kiss me." Natasha didn't wait a second longer. She kissed him, chaste and swift, cradling his face in her hands. "What if I don't see again?" He whispered as his voice broke.

"You will. You will." Natasha stroked his hair like he did when he held her.

"I'm scared." Clint said.

"I know." Natasha kissed him again. What could she do? She wasn't a doctor, or a nurse. She didn't know how to talk to people like this, but he was in such pain. "I'm here for anything you need, Clint." His stomach growled.

"I'm not the only one that feels unhappy." Clint managed to chuckle weakly, but his smile was sad. It was unlike his normal beam.

"I'll go get you some food from the canteen. Be back soon." She murmured as she kissed her on the forehead and stroked his hand. "Don't miss me too much."

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Thanks for reading this: More updates soon! (School is really catchin' up on me, so yeah. NO guarantees that they will be within this month, but I'll try) Please help me by reviewing/following/favouriting (: xx


	2. You've Got My Back

Natasha returned with a ham and cheese croissant and a hot cup of coffee. She watched as Clint chewed and swallow emotionlessly as she twiddled her thumbs.

"Thanks, Tash." Clint said after he'd downed the last bite of his croissant.

"No problem at all." Natasha replied.

"Sit with me." Clint patted on the side of the bed. Natasha lifted herself from the chair and placed herself next to Clint so that her backside was next to his ribs. He shuffled up against the bed and reached up to re-adjust his pillows.

"Here." Natasha craned her hand around his head, bringing him forward and patted the pillow twice. "Better?" He nodded.

Clint stayed silent for a while as Natasha sat with him. _It's her. It's definitely her. It's her smell and her heat and her voice._ And he saw her in his head, the image of her next to him on his bed, his hand hovering gently over the curve of his shoulder as she looked down at her. Her beautiful face with her large eyes and sensual lips looking down at him as she brushed the stray locks of hair from her face.

"Can I touch you?" Clint gulped as he reached for Natasha's hand.

"Not here, Clint. People might - " Natasha smiled sadly.

"I want to touch your face. I want to see you in my head." Clint breathed again. Natasha froze for a moment, her chest aching and eyes threatening with tears. She stroked the skin on the back of his fingers before covering his hands with hers and bringing them to her face.

His palms cupped around her jaw and cheek, the rough bumps of his callous prodding on her skin. And there she was - in his mind, green eyes, sculpted lips, fair skin, soft burning hair. His thumbs skidded across her cheekbones across her smoothness.

Natasha tried to keep as still as possible, breathing deeply and closing her eyes. The feeling of sadness built up in her, her brows furrowing and jaw clenched. The first imminent tear rolled down her left cheek. Clint felt the dampness on the small webbing between his thumb and index finger._ Shit._

"Tasha." Clint stroked her tenderly. _Why is she crying?_

"I should have seen it coming, Clint. You tripped over the wire. It was my incompetence to not spot it." Natasha sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"You were just looking out for more obvious dangers." He murmured. "Smile for me." He felt her cheeks rise. "If there's one more thing I wish I could see again, it would be your smile."

"Clint…" Natasha felt her heart warm. "Don't talk like you're never going to see the light of day again."

"Since when were you the optimist?" Clint spat. Natasha gaped, unable to come up with a reply. "Sorry. Please stay with me for the night?"

"I'll check up with Fury." Natasha as she left the room.

_And what if you could never see again? You'll be in the dark, never knowing what to expect. Engulfed by shadows. So what? Finally having an excuse to retreat from S.H.I.E.L.D. Isn't that what you've always wanted? You've got enough money to live a good life away from all the crossfire and battlefields. What's keeping you?_

Clint knew exactly what it was. It was working with Natasha. Their partnership meant the world to him, to gain her trust and fight side by side. Watching each other's back and enjoying each other's company. He was the reason why she agreed to join in the first place. She was a great fighter, and learning to become a valued friend and ally. But that wasn't it.

They weren't lovers - their kisses meant nothing sentimental. Sure, she would take care of him and save his sorry ass from danger, and yeah, he would take time to instruct her, analyse her movements and fights and spend his free time talking with her. But all of that…_ Love is for children_. He remembered the first and only time she told him. After a few gins, Clint slurred out the words "So, why don't you have a boyfriend?" It became clear that Natasha had no intentions of being in a committed relationship. They would fuck once in a while when their adrenaline was high. That's it.

The darkness had made him realise just how important she was. For a few moments he was completely alone in the world, and pathetically blind. He had always known his feelings towards her, and been scared to confront her about them, and Natasha ain't no blind woman.

What was it about her? Was it her beauty or intelligence? Her specialised skill-set and her multiple talents? Her ability to speak multiple languages fluently? Her expertise in seduction? Her dancing? Her voice? No. It was none of that.

It was because Natasha was immensely _flawed_.

Clint saw past what other men hadn't. Natasha wasn't all about her burning red hair and voluptuous figure. Don't get me wrong, she was sexy as a motherfucker, but that was just one side of the coin. The other side is much darker, much too dark for Clint to fully understand. At the beginning of their partnership, there were barriers that they'd overcome. And through time, he'd gained her trust, he was becoming a friend. When they talked, they faced more demons. Sure, some of them still remained untouched, her childhood traumas and experiences were nothing short of absolutely horrifying. But the demons they managed to exorcise clearly showed her willpower and emotional strength.

After all she'd been through, she should be insane.

But she wasn't.

Natasha was a fine specimen of the female population, every word she uttered laced with a spell that enchanted Clint more. Yeah. He loved touching her, and watching her smile and listening to her voice. But the moment where he was completely bewitched was when Natasha braved the pain and shared the glimpses of her part. The lurking shadows that haunt her. Every time she did that, she seemed more relax. The bridge between them was stronger. She may not have realised it, but the moment the sentences escape her lips was the moment that her shoulders lifted. And it was just that that reassured Clint they had moved forward. Natasha was like any other human being - bearing the weight of her past on her shoulder. And little by little, he shared some of the weight.

Some of the things, Clint wished he never heard. Natasha was only a girl… And maybe then, maybe when he heard about the things in the Red Room, the things they did to Natasha… Maybe then, he felt despair and lost for humanity. But Natasha brought him back. She showed him that any obstacle could be overcome. She showed him the hope and the light in the darkness. And Clint could only imagine how she felt inside. His heart was in smithereens. But every contact, every touch of her skin glued him back together, piece by piece. Natasha wasn't the only one who needed fixing.

And perhaps it was this feeling called loneliness that allowed them to be together. Two lone-wolves. Two sides of the same coin.

The sudden sound of the door broke Clint's train of thoughts. He looked up when Natasha strolled in casually, as if he could see her move. "Fury wants me to stay with you for at least a month, or until you get better." She sighed.

"I'm sorry." Clint swallowed.

"No, it's just. I'm not used to not fighting and training." Natasha quickly explained. "I… I want to be with you." Clint's brows furrowed, not quite understanding what she meant. And Natasha answered him. "You're my partner and my… you're my friend, Clint. You're the only one who's been close to me, and most possibly the _only _one who will_ ever _be this close. You've done too much for me."

"You owe me a debt?" Clint sighed.

"I owe you a debt, and I can never repay you for what you've given me." Natasha clutched his hand. "Doctors will be coming in to check up on you in a minute."

"I'm not sure if I want to hear what they say…" Clint clenched his jaw.

"Clint." Natasha tightened her fingers around his hand. "Listen well. Do this for me. If you don't consult, if you don't have an expert opinion on this, then the chances of your recovery will wither away. Listen to what they have to say, take any advice they give you. If the reality slams you in the face… well, that's that. You and I both know that there is little we can do to change it." Natasha drew a deep breath. "Just know that when it happens, whatever happens, I'll be here for you."

"You've got my back." Clint smiled sadly as he stroked the back of her hand.

"I've always gotcha back."

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I don't like school work ): I like doing this more. They're going to kill me, but whatever. Hope you enjoyed this installment of _Love Makes You Blind_! Please help me by leaving a review/favourite/follow. Really appreciate it (: xx


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